Now Available in the Google Play Store!

With this newly released generation of Llama Detector, there are many more advanced computational techniques for us to avoid using. This includes, of course, artificial intelligence, quantum computing, molecular computing, large scale meta-heuristics and conflict‑free replicated data types. We ensured the underlying llama detection technology was improved to be both fully aware and completely devoid of these methodologies in order to bring you the cutting-edge results you had grown to expect – even from that first-generation application – within the framework of this second-generation reimagining.

As before this lifestyle app gives end-users the ability to detect the presence of llamas in any real-world situation.  By leveraging your platform’s high resolution on-device camera hardware and peripherals, images are deeply analyzed and scrutinized to reveal hidden contexts, meanings, contradictions, ambiguities and tensions that would otherwise remain invisible to the naked eye. This app is 100% guaranteed to provide end-users with seconds or even minutes of amusement. 

This posting serves as the end-user documentation and FAQ listing.

Usage

Using the Llama Detector is simple and straight forward.  The application prioritizes use of the high-resolution rear-facing camera on your device.   If the device has no rear-facing camera then the front-facing camera is used. If the device has no camera, then you will need to ask the suspected llama directly whether it is a llama or not or you will need to spend a few minutes carefully examining the suspected area for llamas with a magnifying lens and a feather duster.

Upon launching the application, point the camera at the item or region that you suspect to be llama tainted.  Depress the button labelled ‘scan for llamas’ when you have successfully framed the area that needs to be analyzed. The image will be captured, and the red scan line will traverse the screen, and the analysis and detection process will begin.

The scanning and analysis process duration will vary according to the sensitivity set. After scanning and analysis, the Llama Detector will indicate if any llamas have been detected. Sometimes when other non-llama items of significance are detected, Llama Detector is able to indicate what it has identified.

If you would like to alter the detection sensitivity of the application, you may do so through the application settings (gear icon). Then, adjust the Llama Detection Sensitivity.  Use the slider to choose a value between 1% and 100%.  This will alter the detection algorithm characteristics. A higher value will make the results more accurate with fewer false positives.  The default value is 50%. Note, though, that the higher sensitivity values will draw more power and will likely cause short brownouts in the vicinity. But – it may be worth it!

FAQ

1. How much does this amazing application cost?

Llama Detector is an absolutely free download from the Google Play store.

2. Free? That’s crazy! How do you do that?

How do we do it? Volume.

3. What sort of personal information does Llama Detector collect?

Llama Detector collects no personal information and does not communicate with any external servers. It should be noted though that by downloading the application you have identified yourself as either a llama or a llama enthusiast.

4. I went to the zoo and used Llama Detector at the llama exhibit but it detected no llamas.  Why is that?

Llamas are very difficult to hold in captivity.  They tend to sneak out of their pens and hang out at the concession stands eating hot dogs and trying to pick-up women. For this reason, most zoos use camels or, in some cases, baby giraffes dressed up as llamas in the llama pens.  The Llama Detector application can be used to indicate if a zoo is engaged in this sort of duplicity.  For this reason, many zoos nationwide ban the use of Llama Detector within the confines of their property.

5. I used Llama Detector in my house and it detected a llama in my bathroom. Now I am afraid to use the bathroom.  What do I do?

Llamas are quite agile and fleet of foot.  It is important to note that detection of llamas should be run multiple times for surety.  If the presence of a llama is verified, start making lettuce noises and slowly move to an open space.  The llama will follow you to that space.  Then stop making the lettuce noises.  The llama will wonder where the lettuce went and start looking around the open space.  Then quickly and silently proceed into the now llama-free bathroom.

6. As llama detection technology advances, will this app remain on the cutting edge?

You can rest assured that this app will serve as the gold standard for llama detection. Until it doesn’t.

7. When will the iOS version be available?

Our team of expert programmers are hard at work developing a native iOS version of this application so that iPhone user can enjoy the comfort and protection afforded by this new technology. The team is however somewhat concerned as they have received packages containing llama spit from an address in Cupertino, CA.

8. I have another question, but I don’t know what it is.

Feel free to post your questions to android at formidableengineeringconsultants dot com.  If it’s a really good question, we’ll even answer it.